Friday, May 29, 2009


Communication can be an interesting situation between humans in this life, the Universe, and everything. It's a beautiful thing when it works well.

First there's the speaker who thinks and feels a certain thing and then needs to say it. Then there's the listener who hears it and needs to interpret it then respond to the speaker. At any point along these pathways there can be disconnect or confusion based on any number of factors.

Here are some possible factors for communication pandemonium fun with possible solutions:

  • Lack of eye contact is usually a sign the listener is disinterested or has more pressing matters on his mind. This can easily be remedied with a quick, though unforceful slap to the back of the head. However, it won't endear a listener to the speaker so other attention getting approaches should be considered. Ruler slaps have worked well for nuns.

  • Ear wax is another common listener problem. Otherwise, there would be no cause for the commonly used phrase "clean out your ears so you can hear me!". Sometimes the simplest things are the key to a solution.

  • Heightened emotional states are a problem for good communication occurring between speaker and listener. Uproarious laughter makes it hard for the speaker to get a word in edgewise. Also, the volume predisposes a listener's difficulty in understanding the speaker's words. Controlling this will help.

  • Chronic IV drug use is also considered a barrier to good communication. One is too involved during the high to think or feel anything else so, therefore, there's nothing to express to a listener. If there is a listener, she's probably trippin' too. Rehab is the answer - uh, maybe.
As these points illustrate, there are any number of factors involved to skew communication. When it's good and the message given = message received, then all is well. So remember to give good eye contact with clean ears while avoiding uproarious laughter and chronic IV drug use; thus, communication will be perfect!!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009


There are so many idioms, axioms, adages, and opinions that a princess just can't keep up in this life, the Universe, and everything. There's so much information flying around out there that it can be daunting to sort through and make sense of it all. Of course this princess enjoys a bit of challenge so onward ho!

The first conundrum involves two seemingly disparate sayings:
  • Misery loves company
  • Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.

Each evokes some aspect of loneliness so they have that in common. There may be a way to unite them. If one is having a really horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day and wants a good cry in good company, will it work if misery's invited? Or should one just show up at misery's door since it loves company? Hey, someone could show up ready for a heckofa good time and it's safe to say misery would be ready with a keg or tea and crumpets as the status requires!

Here's another:

  • "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Forrest Gump
  • "You create your destiny." Some guy

Well, which is it? Does the internal create the external? Are we that powerful? Or is the "you create your destiny" a sales pitch the elite feed the common man or woman so they have hope they have a chance? Is there a recipe for destiny creating? And if there is why isn't it on Bon Appetit's website? There are pressing questions that need answering!! Do we all really float through life like some sentient flotsam and jetsam? And if we do, do we get to eat chocolates? That alone makes the ride worth it in this princess' book. Still others say, "Luck is when opportunity meets hard work." So elbow grease is the key? And who said this princess' elbow needed greasing?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


This princess thinks it's time to create a new religion. Anyone is free to join and no one has to sell flowers on a street corner or books at the airport. There are no services to attend or money to give. Since religion is about ritual there needs to be at least a few practices:
  1. All underwear becomes outerwear on the 4th Tuesday of every month. This is especially iron clad if one holds an elected position or is a monarch or dignity or high ranking religious leader. If the religious elite are wearing long flowing robes, whether male or female, they can opt for wearing medieval bloomers on their heads. This may look rather cute.
  2. No vegetables will be eaten on the 3rd Thursday of the month. This one may be stricken from the religious decree manual for Americans though. Many already practice this on a fairly regular basis so there may be no need to write it down.
  3. On the first day of the six month in a Roman calendar year, each person will create a new lucky charm. This princess opted for a lucky 3 hole punch after her lucky stapler gave her a puncture wound.
  4. Penance for not complying with the above 3 rules of the religion will consist of feeling 3 seconds of guilt and then forever moving on from the subject.

So four rules isn't half bad. For some of us though, even that's too many. In fact, let's just keep it simple and sum it all up into an easy phrase like "love your neighbor as yourself". Oh wait, someone's done that already. Ok, throw away the rules and just follow what's already been suggested. No sense in reinventing the wheel. Maybe King Solomon was right when he wrote, "there's nothing new under the sun". Though it still may be fun to see the dignitaries with bloomers bracing their braincaps!

Friday, May 22, 2009


Bards in this life, the Universe, and everything have sung "Love is a many splendored thing"; "All you need is love"; and "Love lifts us up where we belong". What is love really though? Many moons ago this princess heard an Episcopal priest preach that "Love is a verb". In that case, can it go out and get a cup of coffee in the morning? The servants have been slacking in the palace lately.

What is love besides a four letter word and a verb? What more can be said about love in all its forms? Here a few funny quotes that take a stab at it:

"If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?" ~ Unknown (I hear he's a nice guy, though I never knew him)

"Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad." ~ P.D. East

'The whole world loves a lover' is an interesting theory, but a very bad legal defense.
~ Keith Sullivan

"If love is like oxygen, then don't smoke in bed!" ~ comicprincess (See Post #14

Love in all its forms is a wonderful blessing, but it doesn't stop humans from having a laugh and poking fun in this life, the Universe, and everything. Just like lovin' it's gotta get done!

Friday, May 15, 2009


This princess saw a sweet classic Corvette parked on the street in the local kingdom. It's license plate read "u liv 1c". The next thought was you live one "c"? How can you live a "c"? Is that code for something? Okay it was more than one thought but the brain finally kicked into gear and realized the message was "you live once". Humans in the USA love to post thoughts and messages on their cars via bumper stickers, license plates, and car art. Here are some license plates with possible interpretations that address burning questions like "should anyone really care?":

NEDLART - It's unfortunate enough this person was named Ned Lart, but must he abuse himself further by advertising it?!

WELLRED - This owner of a red Pontiac Grand Am clearly has spelling issues and needs to actually read more so she can learn!

LTL BLUE - Ditto for this owner of a little, blue, classic Toyota

EEYORE - Well, what about him?

BTRFLY4 - Does the driver have a better fly for us - to spread more germs or catch more fish? Is there really one out there and if so, does he actually have four of them to share?

BTFLGLS - Ummm......? All that comes to mind is an eloquent description of thongs as "butt floss". So maybe the driver is a member of a self-described group known as the "butt floss girls". Hey, it takes all kinds!

PB4WEGO - Gotta love this mother of little kids!!!

So license plates as advertising, philosophy, and important reminders seem to bode well in this American life, the Universe, and everything. Now if only we can figure out a way to message with vegetable peelers. Our lives will be complete!

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Someone eloquently told this princess (without the abbreviations) you can't "BS" a "BS-er". The concept of BS-ing amongst humans is an interesting one. Let's face it, BS is a fact of the human condition. All humans have been on the receiving and/or giving end of it. Here are some examples of categories of BS:

Fortuitous BS: Is there really such a thing as lucky BS? I suppose if you're the BS-er and someone believes your line, then you're lucky indeed.

Unfortunate BS: Unfortunately, no one believes your BS so you're SOL on that one.

Flabberghasted BS: Even you yourself can't believe the lines you're dishing out!

Fictional BS: This is a redundancy unless it's a fairy tale that wants you to believe it's true. Sorry girls, Prince Charming is now a metrosexual getting his hair and nails done at the salon.

Non-fictional BS: Is this an oxymoron?

Self-induced BS: Believing that one day your Prince shall come. See Fictional BS.

Fundamentalist BS: Believing that one way of thought, belief, or systematic approach to life, the Universe and everything is the only way to do it. Religion is the most noted area where this occurs, but history shows us many examples of ways new thoughts and approaches were resisted in science, medicine, music, art, dance, and politics to name a few. However, if Sophia tries to bring a new version of Uncle Sal's lasagna to the Capponi family reunion again, heads will surely roll!

Humans are so creative there are surely many more examples of the extent of BS. The mind boggles at the possibilities. However, this is a tiny blog and one does get tired of all the BS at times. So let's leave it at that.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Ever notice how some humans in this life, the Universe, and everything just take what they want without the slightest bit of consideration for others? Desperation, the need for greed, or some other motive propel them forward to their goal willy nilly with no thought of the ramifications or effects on others or even themselves. What are these important things or goals certain humans must have or attain? What is so important that drives said humans like bulls in a china shop squashing any other sentient beings who so unfortunately happen to be in their way?

For one, Mentos are a highly significant thing and when this princess feels the need for enjoying chewy texture and minty fresh breath the path best be clear! She takes no responsibility for the health or welfare of other denizens of the kingdom.

Thumb tacks are another highly prized commodity for which this princess will never wait! If there's a line at Staples then buyers beware! They best move it or lose it for this tack swinging emissary of doom!

Another highly necessary goal this princess has seen on the road is the need for speed. It's extremely expedient for a driver to pass and cut off another driver so he can make that exit 2.5 seconds faster than before. Those extra 2.5 seconds count in life! Probably on his way to grab some thumb tacks.

On the other end of the spectrum is the driver who loves to travel in the passing lane of a two lane highway. She's thinking I like the view from here or I'm practicing driving like they do in England or I'm a princess and I'll damn well do what I please or I'll pretend I'm a State trooper and I may as well speed while I'm at it even though there's no public safety issue, emergency, or threat to attend to immediately or I like these new travelling lanes they've issued! Yeah, it's fun being stuck behind Grampa Jones going 45 mph in a 65 mph zone with Twinkle Toes Traveller enjoying her trip down travelling lane that other humans wish was a passing lane!

So yes, humans for whatever reason "just gotta have it" and they grab it before the brain or the heart engages. Is it any wonder why internal and/or external conflict ensues? Just a thought.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Ah yes, the dating game! How do we court love or hold love in our court as the case may be? As previously written, this princess prefers the second grade method of courtship (See Post #2 Since that hasn't caught on yet, a girl needs to know what other options are available and viable.

Dating in Ages Past:

Since we're told that history repeats and this is definitely true in the fashion world, there may be some courtship crazes from ages past to bring back.

In ancient times when there was a shortage of women, the men thought Aw what the heck let's go raid our neighbors for a woman! then murder and mayhem ensued as they pillaged a village for a date. Brings new meaning to the phrase love your neighbor, but then again some like it rough and some folks like to do things the hard way. Somehow I don't see this as making a comeback though.

In medieval European times, chivalry arose as a backlash to the businesslike atmosphere of arranged marriages. Love was a new attractive ingredient. Life imitated art as honorable men were inspired by stage suitors to serenade, recite poetry, open doors, buy dinner, and give flowers to inspire this ingredient and woo chaste women. Yeah, don't see that making a comeback either! Generally speaking, there's a shortage of the necessary ingredients of honorable men and chaste women in U.S. modern society. We may have to go raid Canada's villages to find some.

Victorian England decided love was definitely the primary ingredient but decided formality was key as well. Everything had to be put in writing. Sounds like a pre-nup to me so it looks like this never left the norm.

Nordic countries used knives and sheathes as indicators of interest and readiness to date. Seems they had a psychic connection with Sigmund Freud and the village pillagers of days past. This may be a serious safety issue for modern day lovers as some already run with scissors! This probably won't be in the queue for upcoming dating trends.

Current heartbeat of hottie pursuit:

This princess loves perusing the world wide web for interesting information. So what was found in the hot hottie pursuit category?

From a web comment posted a few years ago we have:

"New Zealanders, Australians, and the English do not "date". They drink and lunge."

Enough said.

Actually they're into the group thing - dating I mean. Actually not dating but hanging out in groups. It's the custom in Europe and the Central and South Americas as well.

Of course there's a plethora of other dating topics in cyberspace on the current dating scene. However, this princess is tired and there's just not enough room in one little blog for the scope of all that in this life, the Universe, and everything. Suffice it to say she will always be a fan of the aforementioned 2nd grade courtship system!

Monday, May 4, 2009


It seems the swine flu aka H1N1 has created some surprises for humans in this life, the Universe, and everything. This princess studied microbiology and her professor told the class that microbes would conquer the Earth. Of course royalty doesn't enjoy hearing such things but the subject was forgiven. Interestingly enough this princess also remembered learning that a lowly carpenter from a past millenium spoke "the meek shall inherit the Earth". Her tutor who was versed in Greek explained that the Greek word, prautes, was transliterated into the English word, meek, which is the closest equivalent. Prautes specifically referred to taming and training a horse. So there's an element of being teachable to this. Being teachable is synonymous with being adaptable because there's learning and changing going on. Adaptability goes hand in hand with Darwin's theory of evolution. What does this have to do with microbes and Jesus? We try to tame (or rather KILL-and rightly so) the germ and it responds by training itself to live (think of microbes that develop resistance to antibiotics). Imagine the nerve of the thing! It actually survives! It's a good thing to be surviving when the inheritance thing rolls around. At inheritance time it's always better to be on the receiving versus giving end! So if the germs are the last ones standing, they get the inheritance, but then again their human food supply will be gone so what will they do? There's always fast food!

Meanwhile for our self-preservation, what can we learn from this scenario? For one, we can pay attention to the public service announcements:

(See Post #14: See "All You Need is Love PSA")

Here's another interesting thing we can glean from this: proponents of opposing views may actually be able to have a civil cup of tea together! There's talk of Jesus and Darwin in the same paragraph and nobody got hurt! No insults were hurled! No arguments raised! No death threats! What is our world coming to?

So even know-it-all smartypants types can learn something new? This princess definitely needs constant help in the fashion department! Does that mean she'll one day rule in that department too? A princess can always dream!

Friday, May 1, 2009


As previously mentioned in this blog,

(see Post #13: ), humans in this life, the Universe, and everything are intriguing. More specifically their actions and possible motives are the thing. A real life random act of randomness was spotted at the palace in a small rock garden. Someone lovingly and recently placed a Lexmark printer on the wooden edifice (otherwise known as a stump) in the rock garden in the palace courtyard. Always the curious one, this princess is wondering about the motives behind such placement. This person may have had any number of reasons to do this. Here are a few possibilities:

  • Printing papers on a wooden stump is the new black. That's right. It's a new fashion trend!
  • It was a landscape architect design to merge technology and nature. So avant garde!
  • The previous owner just couldn't care for his little printer anymore and he wanted to give it a loving home with nice surroundings in a natural setting.
  • The previous owner is a real estate agent who was thinking "Location! Location! Location!" when she remembered she needed a perfect spot to place her printer.
  • A nearby family thought they'd get better TV reception if they placed the printer on a wooden stump in their neighbor's rock garden.
  • The previous owner read on the Internet that there's a new technology that recycles old wooden stumps into paper, which is then fed (right there and then!) into a printer, which then prints any needed documents. Will the wonders of technology ever cease?!

Thus are the possible scenarios in which the printer purveyor was ensconced. What other predicaments, pickles, or predeterminations may have been involved? The mystery remains!