Tuesday, August 25, 2009


"5 a Day" is an American saying to help folks remember to eat right. However, it's sorely lacking in marketing skills. Where's the sizzle in that phrase? It's competing against some great jingles. Even in the old days Dunkin' Donuts had a slam dunk (pun intended) with the happy tune "Give somebody Dunkin' Donuts...get some lovin' back". This princess would pick lovin' over 5 a day any day in this life, the Universe, and everything. So how can we bring back the sizzle and make good nutrition fo shizzle? Here are some possibilities:

  • Bring the sexy back - not that it was ever there in nutritional food, but ya gotta start somewhere. Here's a sample: "Bone up on bone health with these sultry sardines. They're so luscious you'll be screaming for more!" Yeah, that's the ticket.

  • Create an air of mystery: "On a dark and stormy night as a wolf howled furtively at the moon, the mangoes arrived at the scene of the crime."

  • Create a sense of adventure: "Look at those carrots rappelling down that cliff!!! I want one!"

  • Create a sense of vivaciousness: "Turnips have such verve! Try one today!"

So there may be hope to spice up the enticement for good nutrition. Little do Americans realize there may be a sultry sardine, mysterious mango, adventurous carrot, or a turnip with verve lurking in their kitchen!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Sense and sensibility; sense and sensitivity; sensei, sensibility, and sensitivity - yes, it's amazing what a little vowel and consonant placement will create in this life, the Universe, and everything. Associations and connotations change. Vowels and consonants in the mix:
  • Does a sensei with sensibility and sensitivity really give 2 cents? What's the sense in that?
  • Sled and sledge are one and the same thing. Sled is American and sledge is British. They're both sleighs, except sledge sounds like it rammed into a piece of gooey fudge at the bottom of the hill. America 1 Britain 0.
  • With salability the question is "Can we sell it?" while sanability asks "Can we cure it?". Well, yeah if it's cowhide.

Fun with wordplay, connotations, and associations - what more could a princess ask for? A lot actually, but this one knows that too much royal haughtiness invites instant humility. It's inadvisable to ask Marie Antoinette her opinion on the matter as she lost her head over it.

Friday, August 14, 2009


The number 50 is an interesting number in this life, the Universe, and everything. It is a milestone number in various ways. Let us count them:

  • The 50th wedding anniversary is the "Golden Anniversary" while Simon and Garfunkel advise that there are "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover". Is this a golden opportunity?
  • A Wikianswer states the number 50 represents power and celebration in the Bible. So that's why some women call hot flashes power surges!
  • Wikipedia says "Fifty is the smallest number that can be written as the sum of two squares in two distinct ways: 50 = 12 + 72 = 52 + 52". So when this princess turns 50 can she say "It's hip to be square!"?

The fun of fifty - is it endless? It is when a person hits sixty, but then a new door opens to another kind of fun. Though the decade changes at least the fun can be never ending!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Demiurge, demitasse, Demi Moore: what do these nouns have in common beside "demi"? In this life, the Universe, and everything the definition of demiurge is funny in and of itself. Check it out:

1. Philosophy.
a. Platonism. the artificer of the world.
b. (in the Gnostic and certain other systems) a supernatural being imagined as creating or fashioning the world in subordination to the Supreme Being, and sometimes regarded as the originator of evil.
2. (in many states of ancient Greece) a public official or magistrate.

So politicians fall next in line after the originator of evil...hmmm. So if guilty by association is the order of the day, is it evil to drink a demitasse? But then again demitasse in French literally means half-cup so does this free associate to "half-urge" in English; thus, making public officials (in the Greek sense anyway) only half evil? And where does Demi Moore figure into all this? Since "half" is a connection, let's go with Demi and numbers in her life. Well, she did cut her birth name in half by the number of letters (Demetria = 8; Demi = 4----> 8 * 1/2 = 4!). Sometimes we just gotta do the math! And no, Ashton isn't half her age. Betcha thought that was the tack!

So words, meanings, connections, associations - free, guilty, or otherwise all contribute to the fun. All this talk has given this princess a demiurge for a blueberry sweet treat. Since it's only half evil via justification by semi-analytical rationalization she'll thoroughly enjoy it!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


A euphemism is a way to say something nicely in this life, the Universe, and everything. It's a kinder, gentler, more indirect way to describe a person, situation, or anything, really, than to call a spade a spade. Speaking of that, Bob Barker would remind you to spay or neuter your pets at this point, but since he retired this princess will ask "Have you thought of pet care lately?"

Some possible euphemisms:
  • A "person of ill repute" is a nice way of calling someone a skank.
  • He "passed away" is so much nicer than "he croaked".
  • She "tripped the light fantastic" is a gentle description of - wait, what does that mean?! Oh it's about being a nimble dancer! What's so unpleasant about that?! This situation then needs to be described as "disappointing" rather than an "epic fail"!

So when one is out in polite, genteel society it's a good idea to keep a clever euphemism in one's back pocket, at hand, or up one's sleeve as the case may warrant. One never knows when he needs to describe delicately!

Monday, August 10, 2009


Variety is the spice of life. Language is one of the spices in this life, the Universe, and everything. Here are some curious examples:
  • One can either have peace of mind or give someone a piece of their mind (that'd be tricky especially with no prior surgical experience).
  • The glass is half full or half empty is irrelevant to certain mothers, "Just drink it! There are starving kids in Africa!"
  • "Never say never" is a common phrase that's already contradicted itself twice.
  • If someone wants to "throw his weight around" does he have to "get his pound of flesh" first?

Though no specific spicy language is used above, variety is present. Thus, by association the spice of life is as well. Ah yes, language peppered with some sort of analysis. Yum! Yum!

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Good vs. evil, balancing the yin and yang, embracing the dark side, sinners and saints are all concepts that boggle the mind. Sometimes a girl just can't keep up! What does it all mean? What is our meaning and purpose? This princess is indebted to Douglas Adams. His supercomputer character, Deep Thought discovered after 7 1/2 million years of computing that the answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything was 42. Sadly, The Ultimate Question is still unknown. Thankfully though, curious minds can still explore and ask. Thankfully also, ALL can be explored. From the intense to the inane, inquiring minds want to know. Hey, it beats being mired in existential angst! So what are some possibilities for The Ultimate Question?
  1. What does 6x7 equal?
  2. In his song, Blowin' In the Wind, Bob Dylan asked, "How many roads must a man walk down/Before you call him a man?"
  3. If a woman was born in 1967, how old will she be in 2009?

42 is the plausible answer to all of these Ultimate Questions. However, the woman in Ultimate Question #3 may have her own solution. So there's actual hope for those pondering life and all its questions whether ultimate or not so. Now finding it may be another matter! Hope! Hope! Here Hope! Where are you?!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


This princess believes she doesn't like the new American dating rules (or lack thereof) in this life, the Universe, and everything. It used to be the men would court the women and they'd have the nerve to initiate the process, but nowadays it seems the men have no nerve other than to stare. How can the modern male be helped to start the chase? Here are some possible solutions:
  • They could mimic the outspread wing stance of the wandering albatross. That'll get a girl's attention.
  • They could don a foreign accent. True story: One drunk Englishman told this princess his accent is a "babe magnet".
  • They could show their feminine side and ask for help. The grocery store is a great place to start. Once the attractive lady is spotted the suitor sidles up to her and asks, "Do you think I should get these non-organic grapes? Does the good of the flavanoids outweigh the bad of the sulfites?" She'll admire his nutritional knowledge and be pleased by his deference to her own keen sense of nutrition. It's win-win!

So there's help and hope out there for the American male who has failure to launch issues. Think of the possiblities guys!