Thursday, June 4, 2009


"Shocking!" yes something can be literally and/or figuratively shocking to a sentient being in this life, the Universe, and everything. The word "shock" intrinsically has a jarring look, sound, and feel to it. In fact, shock is a comedy component that ranges from the mild unexpected twist to the raucous.

The favorite shock purveyor for this princess is the grocery store rag with the "shocking" headlines. Always a source of amusement and preferred way to pass the time of waiting in long lines, here are some gems from issues past:
  • "Headless hag terrorizes shopping mall!" yeah, they were watching Marie Antoinette at the mall's cinema!
  • "Catholic school sisters trade in their wooden rulers for the ultimate disciplinary tool - NUN CHUCKS!" A certain princess needs to update a previous post:!!!
  • "Scientist proves Earth is going through menopause - global warming is Earth's hot flashes!" So thunderstorms are night sweats?
  • "Man rushed to emergency room after money burns hole in his pocket!" Thank goodness no one needed to put a fire under his arse to get him there!
  • "Housewife experiences half-rapture and gets stuck in the dining room ceiling!" Her response: "Honey, could you put the roast on the table? Dinner's ready!"
  • "Stareroids! Growth hormones cause bodybuilder's eyes to pop out of his head!" Are you sure it wasn't the hot chick next to him on the lat pull-down machine?

Gotta love that tabloid comedy! How else would we endure the shock of their news to our systems?!

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