#44

Saving face - now that's an interesting phrase in this life, the Universe, and everything. What are we saving our faces for anyway? A rainy day? You mean we can't use them in the here and now? And what about other interesting phrases? Here are some to ponder:

• "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" --> Actually, they're eggs so there you go!


• "Making whoopie" --> This one is actually incomplete. It should read "making whoopie pies", which, actually, is not enigmatic at all. Mmmm whoopie pies!


• Though "tripping the light fantastic" was used disappointingly in the previous post, this princess will attempt to "save face" by discussing it again. Okay, so it's a way of saying someone is "light on his toes" or dances nimbly, but who knows, the 1960s hippies may have had their own definition!

Interesting phrases make language interesting to say the least. Enough said.

#43

Men, women, friendship, family, faith, and country are all examples of entities to whom humans can express love in this life, the Universe, and everything. Songs have sung the praises of love, mostly of the romantic variety. Here are some titles:

• "Love is a many splendored thing" --> Surprise runs amok in the marketing world that the Splenda brand hasn't capitalized on this song. Then again, maybe not.


• "All you need is love" --> Tell that to the unemployed guy who owes 2 months back rent.


• "Love lifts us up where we belong" --> Will it work for females with gravity issues?


• "Baby I love your way" --> Remember that when she insists on another addition to the house!

Though romantic love songs can clash with some hard situations of life, it doesn't stop them from being written or sung. As the title of Sister Maura Eichner's poetry book suggests Hope is a Blind Bard. This princess says "keep on singing"!

#42

Paradox. This word alone is interesting in this life, the Universe, and everything. This is what http://dictionary.reference.com/ has to say about this word:

–noun
1.a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
2.a self-contradictory and false proposition.
3.any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature.
4.an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.

This princess thinks the above definition is a paradox! A paradoxical statement is intrinsically funny. Here are some examples:

• Nobody shops at that store. It's too crowded.
• Oscar Wilde said, "I can resist anything except temptation."
• It's raining cats and dogs. Oh wait, that's a metaphor! Or is it? Back in the day of the thatched roof small animals would gather in the thatch for warmth, but when it rained heavily water seeped in and the poor critters would lose their grip and fall; thus, "it's raining cats and dogs" happened quite literally. Maybe it is a paradox because it was literally true then, but isn't now (certainly not in certain parts of the world anyway). It just may qualify under meaning #1 re: absurd and being a possible truth in parts of the world that have thatched roofing, warm rooms, cats and dogs in the house, and heavy rains.

This princess enjoys the amusing aspect of paradox. Though mind-boggling and head-spinning to think too much about, this brief foray has been interesting and fun. For the most part though, this princess will stick to her daily routine of coffee with cream and no paradox thank you.

#41

If a redneck lives in a red state, what is he called if he lives in a blue state, a blueneck? Red state, blue state, yuppie, Millenial, Baby Boomer, fundamentalist, metrosexual, and many other labels and categories exist in this American life, the Universe, and everything. Is it a safety mechanism to apply these labels? Is labelling good, bad, or indifferent? Here are some perspectives on labels and categories:

• The Millenial Generation is also called Gen Y. Now there's talk of the next Generation being named Gen Z. Since Z is the last letter in the English alphabet there may be a problem for the following generation. Yeah, it's called global warming.
• Metrosexual was coined for the man who wanted to be more fashionable and also concerned with his image regardless of his sexual orientation. Some marketing types thought they'd coin "ubersexual" to "straighten out" the metrosexual and hearken back to the "traditional male" prototype while still tapping into the consumerism piece. Seems all a bit too confusing. There are no straight answers here.
• Religion doesn't have the corner on the market of fundamentalism. According to dictionary.com another meaning of the word is "strict adherence to any set of basic ideas or principles". So scientists, politicos, businesses, and each one of us individually can be a fundamentalist either in our global world view or one or more areas of our existence. "Strict" reminds of "stricture". Both words are based on the Latin strictus, past participle of stringere, which means to "draw tight". One of the meanings of stricture is "an abnormal contraction of any passage or duct of the body". The alimentary canal, "a tubular passage functioning in the digestion and absorption of food and the elimination of food residue, beginning at the mouth and terminating at the anus" is one such passage. What happens if this passage were to "draw tight" all along its passageway? Yeah, a bunch of tight asses who are full of it!

So it seems possibly irrelevant, confusing, and against the flow if humans get too caught up in using and living labels. Just as the human body works to maintain homestasis, a state of balance, it behooves the human outlook to engage thus as well. So let's keep what works and throw the garbage out.

#40

Since this princess believes in equal opportunity she's decided to feature all the funny ladies lookin' for love on Craigslist. She personally didn't know love hangs out there amidst the blenders and the pervs, but one never knows in this life, the Universe, and everything. These are from the "best of" section on Craigslist:

• Was that your limb? - w4m I was running to catch the 9 train, early in the morning tuesday. Apparently I wasn't the only one: I saw you down the subway stop ahead of me. You were sprinting, and collided with a support column. Your prosthetic arm flew off, and you kept running.
  You made the train, and I did not. All that was left was your lovely arm, glistening from the summer humidity. It smelled of pine and saddleneck oil.
  I have it now, in my living room. It's sitting in a hallway basket, with some umbrellas and a digeridoo. Contact me: I'd like to meet the rest of you.
  -Susan
• This ad from a Canadian woman is too long for this tiny blog. The title should give you an idea of her intent - Lets Trade Places: Married for Single Life - w4mw. This section discusses what the prospective, willing, married trade woman should expect: "My Life: You would be trading your married life for an apartment in Yaletown and a Mini. I have a group of girl friends who you would spend most of your time with doing activities such as exercising, eating out, dinner parties, movie nights, shopping, and so on. They will help to set you up on a series of first dates (what happens there is up to you). You can use the in-suite gym and swimming pool, and would have access to my wardrobe (size four). My mother will call you every second day and discuss how your younger sister has the most beautiful child and husband, and then move on to how disappointing it is that you cannot find a man to settle down with. You can be quite sure that a series of ex-boyfriends will call you up between the hours of 12am and 3 on the weekends (again, what happens there is up to you). " For more of her fun, check here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/1230203861.html
• Why don't I ever have a Missed Connection? - w4m Everywhere I go, I scan my surroundings and wonder if someone is secretly plotting a CL (craigslist) missed connection post for me. "We locked eyes briefly at the CVS as you were picking out those heavy flow tampons. You smiled at me so innocently. If this is you tell me what I was wearing" Nothing. I drive down the interstate and look in all the cars and then come home to check CL to see if anyone missed a connection with the "Sexy dark haired girl in the Honda going towards the Philly International Aiport on I95, you eyeballed me and picked your nose. I want to take you out." Still nothing. I get up every day, shower, get dressed and go out just so someone can miss a connection and look for me on CL. Don't approach me in public. I'm waiting for you here.

So funny ladies exist in the craigslist domain of this world. Maybe they weren't really lookin' for love, but the humor in the process of lookin' for love on craigslist. Just a humble observation from a not always astute princess!

#39

Many humans like to add humor to their daily business in this life, the Universe, and everything. Here are some examples:

• There is a cool trailer called the Snack Shack near the ferry terminal in Islesboro, Maine (and yes this princess enjoys the food too!). In addition to fun 1950s art posters and other sundry amusements, the owners have this cute, little, professionally painted sign as a reminder to parents: Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy.
• In a coed bathroom at a state government office building in Maine, a woman placed a notice above a toilet in the bathroom. It read, "WOMEN USE THIS BATHROOM TOO GENTLEMAN PLEASE, PUT THE SEAT DOWN AFTER YOU HAVE FINISHED" It seems a man felt the need to share his perspective as well. His sign read, "MEN USE THIS BATHROOM TOO LADIES PLEASE, PUT THE SEAT UP WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED"
• Churches can have funny sayings posted on their outdoor signs. One such saying, "Lead me not into temptation I can find it myself."
• Another church posted this: "DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY WELCOME YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN"

So there are varied ways to keep it interesting and blow off some steam when it involves the human condition. Even though no one gets out alive, we can have fun doing it while we're here.

#38

Webposting commenters say the darndest things in this life, the Universe, and everything. Here is a story that offers perspective on the human condition in and of itself in one culture with the perspective of readers' comments who belong to a completely different culture.


This princess can relate to the story in terms of taking action. Several beloved flowering plants were stolen and her family garden was raided of vegetables on two separate occasions. Though she knew no perpetrator would be caught she still enlisted the police for help so that she felt some sense of power in the situation. She views the following story in this light:


On July 15th, 2009 CNN reported that "A family in Saudi Arabia has taken a genie to court, alleging theft and harassment, according to local media.

The lawsuit filed in Shariah court accuses the genie of leaving them threatening voicemails, stealing their cell phones and hurling rocks at them when they leave their house at night, said Al-Watan newspaper....

"We have to verify the truthfulness of this case despite the difficulty of doing so," Sheikh Amr Al Salmi, the head of the court, told Al-Watan. "What makes this case and complaint more interesting is that it wasn't filed by just one person. Every member of the family is part of this case."

...In Islamic cultures, a belief in genies, or jinns, is common. Genies not only appear in pre-Islamic fiction such as "Arabian Nights," but are also mentioned in the Quran. Many Saudis believe invisible genies live among them and are capable of demonic possession and revenge."


Here are the comments:

• This gave me the idea of suing the tooth fairy. I don't feel she gave me enough money for my teeth when I was younger.
• I understand where they're coming from.....i tried suing Santa Claus for slander and failure to fulfill a contract when i was good all year but he brought me coal anyway....turns out, we dont have an extradition agreement with the North Pole....for me to have any shot at winning they have to catch him the breaking the law here in the states and hold him for trial....well....wtf is sliding down people's chimneys if not breaking and entering?....tell me he's not speeding when he's making his rounds......must have SOME radar detector to avoid all the speed traps....and what about cruelty to the reindeer?....think he's not taking a little nip of the eggnogg every now and then to keep warm?.....one simple DUI arrest and i'm golden. Just more proof.....the rich get more "equal" justice than the rest of us.
• Wish Number One: I wish you'd stop throwing stones at us.
• Why would they want to sue Jeannie? She is such a lovable genie. Sure, she gets Major Nelson into trouble every now and then, but she does her best to bail him out, too.
• Well they should sue! I hope they win and get MILLIONS in invisible money from that good for nothing Genie! Get it for everything it has.
• Dont tell me?.....They must have rubbed the Genie the wrong way!
• What I'd like to know is how they're going to collect from a jinn when I can't even collect child support.

Just goes to show that everyone's a comic, intentional and otherwise. As is evident, commenters say the darndest things!