#57

An interesting concept is that of indebtedness. The most well known aspect is financial debt. It could all start with college debt. Then there are the little things that keep it there or worse, increase it: unexpected car repairs, a dental bill, the con artist boyfriend. Yeah, the little things.


Indebtedness to ex-boyfriends who've taught painful lessons isn't normally on a princess' gratitude list. Learning curves are good though, especially if a woman is teaching a man hers.


So with lessons learned, this princess thought she might venture into the kingdom of Internet dating. What the heck, she might learn something from this foray into mostly uncharted territory.


Imagine her frustration on day one when she discovered so few choices for body type description. She was hoping there was one for a "bodacious babe-a-licious" body, but alas, no such good fortune occurred. Instead there were only choices that her scouts already forewarned her were just code for the REAL body type. Here are some examples:


Athletic = flat                           Voluptuous = fat                  A few extra pounds = DEFINITELY fat
Slim = flat                                 Curvy = fat
Slender = flat                           Average = fat    


What's a princess to do? Leave it blank and post a couple of pics.


Another issue with Internet dating today is the men want to jump into bed as quickly as possible. This probably hasn't changed throughout the ages, but whatever happened to good old-fashioned wooing? A nice slow woo can be a very good thing. Savor all those moments. Chivalry isn't dead so maybe wooing can be revived.


Perhaps there are men out there with wooing skills. If not, then perchance there is at least one malleable subject.


In the search for a trainable wooer, the first thing learned was that humor may not be a good teaching tool. In attempting to influence the subject into a more wooing stance it may not be advisable to ask "Are you sure you want to have sex on the second date? I could be a psycho hose beast ya know."


It may also be advisable to know the difference between gentle wooing vs. going for the down and dirty. Thus, a princess can accurately assess the situation then instruct accordingly. Here are a couple of signs that he's not gently wooing you:

• You need a pair of forceps to remove his tongue from the depths of your throat
• You need a crowbar to pry his hands off your arse

Also, it's always good for any princess to assess whether the subject in question is right for her. If he's not right for her then training is irrelevant. Here are a couple of hints a subject isn't right for the prospective trainer:

• Constant hellish nightmares that peak in his presence
• Constant wretching that peaks in his presence

A princess needs to pay attention to those little hints. It saves time and heartache.

Indebtedness to past experiences is a good thing. One can know what she wants for future reference and apply it to new situations. Now on to find a wonderful wooer....